Meet Ben Sawyer.

What I was carrying

A full life. But not a whole one.

From the outside, things seemed good. Underneath, faith had shrunk into survival mode — smaller prayers, lower expectations, bracing for disappointment. In the wilderness, God showed me what I'd been carrying: a control-self (what I wrote about in Kill the Lizard) that wasn't rebellion but self-protection. I couldn't manage my way into wholeness. Slowly, I began to lay it down.

From control to connection

The pathway God led me through.

Two operating systems run every leader: one driven by control and striving, the other shaped by surrender and relationship with God. The six steps aren't a behavior change — they're a transfer of authority. Not a formula. A relational process.

P

Prayer

Not just asking for things, but coming honestly before God. Laying down fear. Confessing. Forgiving. Renouncing lies. Clearing the spiritual mud that had built up over years.

R

Reconciliation

Returning to the center of the Gospel. Not just believing Jesus died for me — but living in restored relationship with the Father who is not counting my sins against me.

A

Alignment

Learning to live under the Lordship of Christ. Daily surrender. Obedience before understanding. Letting the Holy Spirit lead instead of managing life in my own strength.

I

Identity

Letting God replace the names I had built from survival with the truth of who I am in Him. Receiving identity as a son — instead of performing to become worthy.

S

Song

Discovering worship as response, not duty. Love flowing back to God because I had finally received His love deeply.

E

Engagement

Living reconciliation forward. Becoming an ambassador of Christ. Not just healed but sent — carrying the message of restoration into everyday relationships.